Biting satire by LUTFI DERVISHI
One of the world’s most complicated conflicts, the Arab-Israeli conflict, could be resolved by Albania. It’s not just about offering ideas, which we’ve never lacked, but it’s about a practical solution: Europeanizing the Palestinians.
Albania can offer that 2.3 million Palestinians from Gaza come and settle from Shkodra to Saranda, excluding the Shëngjin and Gjadër areas. This strip could be called the Shqipa Strip.
By choosing this strip, Palestinians will have the sea nearby again, and they won’t have to deal with deserts and endless wars with Israel. Finally, this suffering people won’t go from one war to another but will find the lost peace in the ancient Albanian lands.
Since everyone has failed to achieve peace between Israel and Palestine, and as the world engages in cities and protests in the EU capitals, it’s time for a permanent solution through concrete actions – 2.3 million residents of Gaza come here. This not only pacifies the world but also solves the significant problem – the exodus of over two million Albanians from Albania. (In the civil status register for the first time in these 30 years, we will have an ideal match between the theoretical number of 4.5 million residents and the actual number in Albania.)
Albania can no longer tolerate the prolonged conflict and endless suffering in Gaza.
Albania is obligated to take this action first and foremost out of respect for its tradition of hospitality. “A friend’s and a traveler’s home” – says the Code of Lekë Dukagjini. Imagine when the traveler is in distress.
Secondly, what we are doing is a continuation of the honor we showed to the Jews during World War II. Back then, we saved them from Nazi persecution, and today, from problematic neighbors who want to live in their own home but also throw stones at the neighbor’s house. Israel is saved from Hamas terrorism, and Palestinians live in peace on the shores of the Adriatic.
Thirdly, we have a great obligation to the USA, which has done so much for the Albanian nation. Even with this gesture, we may not repay the historical debt – the salvation of Albania and Kosovo.
Fourthly, we owe it to the Arab world, as part of the European continent, responsible for the current situation of Muslim societies.
Fifthly, Albania understands well that the Arab-Israeli conflict is not religious or racial; it’s a tragedy between two rightful peoples. Palestinians are in their home; the Hebrews have no other place to call home. They are like two people quarreling over the same house, and if it were a real estate issue, Albania has the skills to settle conflicts.
So far, no country, no international institution, no NGO, no media, no intellectual – no one has managed to provide a solution to the bloody Arab-Israeli conflict. But Albania has shown that it does what no one else thinks of.
For example, no EU country had the idea to solve the immigration problem from North Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. Italy was in distress, although being the third economic power in the EU; it couldn’t find a solution to the issue of illegal immigrants. Then the Prime Minister of Albania extended one hand to Italy and with the other hand gave the EU a lesson on how to deal with the challenge of migration.
Even when it came to solving the plight of Afghans after the return of the Taliban to power, Albania was the only one willing to host them as needed. We couldn’t shame our tradition, and we couldn’t forget that we “have been Afghans.”
As for the issue of the Iranian opposition that no country had the courage to take, how can Albania, which has lived under dictatorship for a long time and knows very well what it means to live without opposition, accept that Iran, this great country, remains without opposition?! In this way, Albania shows the world that here, there is harmony not only among different religions but also among different oppositions. In our country, there is no sign of tension between the Afghan opposition, Iranian opposition, African opposition (which will soon settle in Shëngjin), and tomorrow the Arab opposition that will settle in the Shqipa Strip.
The only problem and a source of tension are the Albanian opposition, but this is an internal matter regardless of the big problems the world faces. We cannot be selfish and talk about democracy when the world is heading for disaster.
We are talking about global stability here, and Albania, as a responsible member of the Security Council, cannot let the world go towards World War III. With the solution of the Gaza Strip, Albania also contributes significantly to the war in Ukraine because attention to this war will be complete, comprehensive, and unwavering.
In this way, Albania gives the Security Council and the major powers one year to achieve peace between Russia and Ukraine; otherwise, as in the case of Afghans, Iranians, Africans, and Arabs, it will be forced to solve the problem alone.
Someone may ask how much this operation costs and what Albania gains from it. This question hurts the feelings of Albania. It’s not about money at all. Above all, we must not forget that we are human and temporary in this world. We won’t take anything with us except good deeds.
… Don’t forget, Albania may have a small back, but it lays a big egg!
